How to Recover from CEN – Introduction
December 20, 2020
Childhood Emotional Neglect ( Episode 2 )
Episode 2: How to recover CEN
Hi everyone, this is Ludemia ( aka Mia ), and welcome to Heart-Mind Equation.
This is Episode 2 of our CEN series, related to how to recover from Childhood Emotional Neglect.
In the last episode, we have described the emotional needs in our childhood, that weren’t met and the parenting styles that contributed to those lacks.
We have also identified some reactive behaviors, that some of us, adults, display, in response to the emotional neglects, we were submitted to, as a child.
As human beings, we all share emotional needs to be loved, to be appreciated, acknowledged, and respected. But, how many of us have this wrong perception, that our feelings don’t matter, or, have this feeling of emptiness inside, without knowing why. Actually, some of us adults tend to get stuck in one of the emotional development stages of our childhood. Every time our inner child is triggered, we either crave for those needs to be met, or react with the fears attached to those needs: such as fear of rejection, judgment, incompetence or failure, of expectations from others, fear of confrontation, and the fear of humiliation.
To free ourselves from those fears and our reactive emotions, the important rule would be to address those unmet needs that take root in our childhood. It requires some self-development work.
But before that, there are a few related behaviors we need to stop, in order to feel more prepared, to address those rooted emotional needs from our childhood.
So here they are:
- Stop being a people-pleaser
- Stop seeking attention
- Stop seeking validation
- Stop seeking approval
The first outcome of that process ( of recovering from our Childhood Emotional Neglect ) allows us to make sense of those reactive behaviors, I’ve just mentioned. That is, for a better relationship with ourselves, and therefore, better relationships with others. The second outcome would be: changing our self-perception, from our inner values, instead of external validations. The process helps us grow from feeling depleted to the feeling that we are enough and from enough to feel valuable.
In the next episodes of our CEN series, we are going to address how to eliminate each of those 4 reactive behaviors related to Childhood Emotional Neglect, and what to replace them with, to help us recover.
Stay tuned and get a notification for Episode 3, where we are going to discuss the people-pleasing syndrome, if I may call it this way.
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